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Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:40:25 GMT -5
Reports indicate Edmonton Oilers's Mark Messier is not being shopped, but he is not untouchable.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:40:52 GMT -5
Sources close to Toronto Maple Leafs indicate he is "obligated to never trade Wendell Clark and Doug Gilmour." We do not know what that means.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:41:57 GMT -5
Those nearest to xx - Former Calgary Flames are claiming the GM won't stop marching around, bragging about how he is, "nearly a quarter of a century old now".
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:43:44 GMT -5
XX - Kruze - XX is collecting draft picks for the 1994 draft. Inside sources unable to determine their primary target. Rumours suggest Jeff Friesen a possibility.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:44:52 GMT -5
Sources closest to Vancouver Canucks say Pavel Bure has reached a secret, shady, "Never trade me ever or I will explode" deal with the team. Currently unconfirmed, but sounds consistent with reports from secondary sources.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:46:25 GMT -5
Experts agree, twitter is the way of the future. Invest early in this mind-blowing technology. (Also, internet. I know you have never heard of it, as it is 1990, but trust us. Invest in that too.)
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:48:23 GMT -5
NHL Super Legend Guy LaFleur "somewhat uncomfortable" playing in English-speaking Canada. Edmonton Oilers has not returned a request for comment. Insiders say management may "not give a damn what Guy wants, he is staying." Whatever that means.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:49:11 GMT -5
Reports out of Detroit indicate that Detroit Red Wings may be looking to bolster their defence core. Homeless vagrant interviewed proclaims, "It's shit. Their D is shit." We won't speak with the vagrant further.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:49:50 GMT -5
Public records indicate that XX - Former Canadiens - XX is currently watching the football game. Reports all but confirmed. Relevance, however, is nil.
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 20:51:15 GMT -5
The GM of Detroit Red Wings has stated on record that, "the Colorado Avalanche have not stopped harassing the Red Wings about Lidstrom, but the Red Wings do not plan to move the defenceman."
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Post by Colorado Avalanche on Dec 12, 2019 20:57:45 GMT -5
I will fight you Detroit
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 21:01:41 GMT -5
Sources with seemingly direct knowledge of the situation reports that " Detroit Red Wings sucks dicks". They were quick to add they do not judge, implying they may also occasionally partake?
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 21:31:41 GMT -5
xx - Former Calgary Flames's Ed Olczyk is quickly garnering interest from a couple teams. Teams are rumoured to be Ducks, Panthers, and Sharks. Wait, what?
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 21:34:51 GMT -5
When reached for comment, one GM sent us a box of cereal. We appreciated it, and ate it. We now fear it may have been poisoned, but #WorthIt
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twitter
Master of Whispers
Posts: 83
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Post by twitter on Dec 12, 2019 21:35:32 GMT -5
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