S6 POWER RANKINGS

[Bob McKenzie]

These Power Rankings are so powerful you will feel the power ranking rake right down your power legs and into your r-ankles.



Time to break this down, powerfully!



TOTAL POWER

As you can see, Sakic is so damn sexy he pushes his team to the top. Who cares that Pittsburgh is stacked. It's all about one man, and that man should not be allowed to use a snow blower!

Team	Power
	243.33
	236.67
	236.58
	235.75
	234.5
	233.67
	232.5
	232.42
	232.25
	231.75
	231.5
	231.17
	231
	229.58
	229.25
	227.67
	226.75
	225.83
	224.83
	221.25
	221.08

I know Sakic is right there at the top of Mount Forwardmore of Forwards, but directly behind on Calgary is Sergei Fedorov. The guy who was always the best player on the planet, but the second best player on his team. Don't ever tell him if he was or was not married to Anna Kournikova.

FORWARD POWER

Team	F
	87.17
	85.83
	84.92
	84.25
	84.17
	84
	83.75
	82.75
	82.42
	82.17
	81.5
	81.42
	81.17
	80.67
	80.25
	80.17
	79.83
	79.75
	79.17
	78.58
	76.92

Next we take a look at the Power of the D! Sakic is so good, he pushes Pens right to the top. Right behind is this blow-hard named Scott Stevens. A man that is so dirty and hits so hard that even his victims get their brains scrambled to the point they think he's a saint. Just ask Vyacheslav Kozlov. Actually don't. The dude won't remember.

DEFENCE POWER

Team	D
	68.67
	67.67
	67.33
	65.67
	64.83
	64.67
	64.33
	64
	63
	62.67
	62.33
	61.67
	61.33
	61.33
	61
	60
	60
	60
	58.67
	57.33
	56.5

Ed Belfour exists. So does John van Biesbrouck. They just happen to exist on the same team. But you know who's right behind them, also existing and existing much more gloriously? JOE FUCKING SAKIC.

GOALIE POWER

Team	G
	88
	87.5
	87.5
	87.5
	87.5
	87.5
	87
	87
	87
	86
	86
	86
	86
	86
	86
	86
	85.5
	85.5
	85.5
	85.5
	85

And for those glancing at the bottom of each list, yes, Hartford and Washington are really that terrible.

[San Jose Sharks]

Hey, Bob. Fuck yourself.

- Hartford Whalers and all 7 of their fans.